Barely having settled into the White House, there have been some surprising developments which may carry serious implications for Presidential staff and the overall running of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
Rabbis were rushed in to kosher the White House kitchen, raising suspicions of Obama having an affection for kosher meals or possibly being of Jewish ancestry himself. His campaign hopes, had this still developing story been leaked, would have been ruined. It served his political aspirations better posing as a Christian until in office.
Obama's natural affection for American food seems to have implications for us as well. Cheeseburgers will soon be served with soy-cheese, expect KFC (renamed Kosher Fried Chicken) to become a government subsidy, all chili contests to be devoid of pork based entries, a significant bacon tax (it's killing you anyway), and for Obama to renounce his affinity for shrimp and grits. Go kosher if you like Barack, but low cholesterol isn't for everyone and you can't expect unhealthy Americans to embrace your diet after decades of clogging their colons.
While we doubt Obama has any affiliation with Judaism, he definitely loves kosher foods. Obama getting on the kosher bandwagon will only improve the health of his other staff members. As for the rest of us Americans, while capable of embracing certain kosher standards, if he ever expects to get re-elected, he better at least ax the bacon tax. That one may even lead to anarachy.