Confessions of a Jewish Bride

You know my grandparents really knew how to cook. It seems to me that everyone born in “the Old Country” (in this case, Transylvania) was born with built-in cooking intuition. Somehow, they could create the most scrumptious meals using no fancy equipment, nor even measuring spoons. I recall that they hosted every holiday humbly, turning out the expected delicacies with what seemed like the simplest, most relaxed effort. No exotic flavor profiles, nor food combos or wine pairings; no attempts at reinventing the wheel, because when the food is that good – no, make that superb – there’s no need to find a “twist” on the recipe.

On Chanukah, we were treated to their potato pancakes, “latkes” that were classic and simple. My grandfather, a professional chef, wore a manly white waist apron that suited him perfectly. His latkes were made of eggs, onions, potatoes, oil, salt, pepper, and a little matzo meal to make them crunchy. “Corn meal, that’s also good, if you don’t have any matzo meal,” he would say reassuringly, though you knew that he secretly wondered what kind of kitchen would not have a handful of matzo meal somewhere. The potatoes were hand-grated so fine –almost to a pudding-like consistency – then lightly fried in a pan that looked as though it, too, had just come over from the Old Country. Applesauce and sour cream traditionally accompany latkes, but who needed them? Crispy on the edges, with a fluffy, buttery smooth center, Grandpa’s version of this Chanukah delicacy could stand alone.

The first Chanukah after my wedding, I called my grandfather for his latke recipe. He gave it to me with “measurements” like “a sprinkle of salt, a few spoons of matzo meal, some oil…” All the while, I wished I had watched him in action when he was in his prime. I could have taken notes, measured out the amounts he used, studied his grating technique.

But I was on my own. Tasked with recreating Grandpa’s latkes, I tried and failed, tried and failed – until I finally produced something that is reminiscent of his glorious, crunchy potato perfection. The recipe went into my first published cookbook, Quick & Kosher: Recipes from the Bride Who Knew Nothing. I have reprinted these Classic Potato Latkes here and created a how-to video that you can watch below so you can see how easy it is to make.

My husband and kids say these latkes are the best in the world. They are very good, but they’re not my Grandfather’s. Maybe it’s my food processor and that fancy-shmancy skillet.

Chanukah Giveaway!!
Because it’s almost Chanukah I want to give you a chance to win a gorgeous gift basket (pictured below) of Chanukah-themed decorated cookies and brownie bites from M&M Designs - Designer Creations for Life’s Sweetest Occasions. Whether you’re looking for a special gift or planning a celebration…their uniquely decorated edibles taste as amazing as they look. These products are under OU supervision. This gift basket that they are giving away has a retail value of $85 and you have a chance to win it!  Please leave me a comment below sharing your favorite Chanukah memory. Entrants must be over 18 and legal US residents. Contest ends Monday Dec 19 2011 at 9 pm EST. One winner will be picked by online randomizer from qualifying entries.

CONTEST NOW CLOSED BUT PLEASE KEEP LEAVING YOUR FAVORITE CHANUKAH MEMORIES!!

Wild & crazy.

As I write this in my Rockland County home, there are bears on the loose in my neighborhood. Not 1, not 2, but 3 bears, and they are not cuddly and they are not going for a harmless stroll while their porridge cools. They’re big, black, and one was just spotted digging into my neighbor’s garbage just 3 blocks away. AHHHH! Check out this video.

I’m a city girl. When I moved here, I didn’t know that the police simply issue a “warning” when something like this happens. I guess they figure that when you live “in the country,” it’s ok have an occasional wild turkey, deer or bear peering into your windows. It goes with the territory – oy vey iz mir.

Meanwhile, my friend Anita (you can meet her here), Rabbi Lawrence’s wife, takes it all with true pioneering spirit. Gitta neshamah (good soul) that she is, on Shabbos she calmly walked someone over a mile home because that someone was scared of walking alone for fear of encountering the bears. She packed the bottom of her baby’s stroller with a broom, a 10-inch kitchen knife, a pot and a rock. Who does she think she is, Davy Crockett? Was she planning on using those weapons against three bears? Or perhaps cook them a meal? Should I look for a saner friend?

Anyway, I’m not that chivalrous. I kept my family securely locked inside– had a zoo of my own for a while there, with 4 neighborhood kids joining my 5. (At one point, I thought I might be able to handle the bears better than this balagan.)

Till the bears are gone for good, I am housebound, cooking with the kids, and enjoying hot cocoa as well as these other goodies.

Spicy Hot Cocoa
Roasted Pumpkin Pizza with Caramelized Onions and Ricotta
One-skillet dinners
And Pumpkin Pie with Caramel Whipped Cream.

If you were housebound for a few days, what delicious dishes would you be whipping up?

Nothing juicy about this confession.

Just an honest answer to a common question.

People come up to me and say, “Seen your posts, your books, your videos…” Then with a little wink, “…So what do you actually cook most of the time?”

So I’ll fess up. I go through stages and have my faves, stuff that I love to cook, stuff that I have ready Shabbos after Shabbos, no matter who comes a knockin’ on my door. I don’t care if our guest is the six-year-old from down the block or the Prime Minister of Israel – here’s what they’ll get at my house these days (in no particular order).

Sesame Cucumber Salad – I originally developed this as a side to the Teriyaki Beef Banh Mi. It’s simple, light, elegant. And now starring on my Shabbos table, solo. I play it up too, showcasing it in a pretty crystal serving dish. The cucumber ribbons garnished with black sesame seeds look divine.

California Avocado Salad – a real staple for eons! The avocado adds both a creaminess and gorgeous green pop of color. But a few Shabbosim ago Hubby searched high and low for me, going to store after store and guess what? Nary a ripe avocado in sight! So I stole a trick out of my neighbor Adina’s bag– in place of avocados she adds shelled edamame (from the freezer section – defrosted of course) for a punch of green color. But the real secret to this salad is the dressing. These “exotic” oils and vinegars are now staples in my pantry: toasted sesame oil, rice vinegar and ume plum vinegar (ume plum is a Japanese fruit). To know them is to love them.

Corn Flake Crusted Chicken – I came up with this for the kiddies, but it’s a total family and guest favorite – and perfect for Shabbos day. Okay, so in my second book, Quick & Kosher Meals in Minutes I say to bake ‘em, but lately I prefer them fried. And yes, I actually crush real corn flakes instead of using the ready-made corn flake crumbs from a canister. A nine-year-old Shabbos guest squealed with delight when she tasted this dish, “Oooh, Mommy, there’s cereal on this chicken – YAY!” Every grown-up at the table was thinking the same thing. Takes a kid to say it.

Mini Blueberry Lemon Tarts – no oven! And so cute – light, refreshing, slightly (and I mean slightly, not over the top sugary) sweet. Everyone asks for this recipe, and then they can’t believe how simple it is. Thank you, G-d, for creating mini tart shells!

Family Heirloom Chulent – Hubby’s specialty and it even made the New York Times. (Yet they gave me credit for the recipe!) We make this every Shabbos, even in the summer. It ain’t Shabbos without it.

Salmon Croquettes with Tropical Fruit Salsa – originally developed for Pesach, this is my year round staple now. The salmon croquettes are actually best served fresh, straight from the fry pan. So I prep them beforehand, keep them in the fridge as raw patties, and then fry them up just before Shabbos for the evening meal. I much prefer them on a yuntif, though, so I can serve them from the pan to the platter. For Shabbos day though I have taken to serving the tropical fruit salsa with my chilled salmon recipe from my first book Quick & Kosher Recipes From The Bride Who Knew Nothing. Chilled salmon fillets are the perfect swap out for Shabbos day meals or for when I’m feeling especially lazy and not in patty mode. My oldest daughter (who is only 6, mind you) was shocked, shocked by this substitution! “Mommy! How can you serve the tropical fruit salsa with chilled salmon? It’s supposed to go with the croquettes!” Never thought I’d have to answer to a kid food critic right in my own kitchen, but there it was.

Green Bean and 3-Onion Sauté– I love this hot or cold. The green beans have the perfect crunch, the onions and garlic are caramelized and sweet. Personally, I prefer to I omit the red pepper flakes and just go with a finish of kosher salt. Perfection on a platter

Sun-dried Tomato Caesar – I whip up a quadruple batch of my dressing and chop an entire jar of sun-dried tomatoes in oil so that I have this salad ready to go at a moment’s notice, weekday and Shabbos.

Challah Dough Cinnamon Buns have also been creeping in a bit too much for my waistline, but not too much for my taste buds.

Not a Shabbos passes without fresh challah loaded with everything topping. I even sometimes serve extra “everything topping” for dipping! And here’s a hot tip: try zaatar, kosher salt and olive oil as a dipping treat for your challah.

So these are my recent Shabbos faves — what are yours?

People have actually said to me that they envy how organized and clean my kitchen looks. And they figure that I’m naturally neat and proper, always putting everything in its place.

It’s an illusion, people. While I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s a camera trick – my kitchen really does look that way, most of the time – I have decided to come clean. This will make us both feel a whole lot better.

Let’s go back to my first apartment in Far Rockaway. When I would do a lot of Shabbos entertaining and the dishwasher would be packed to the brim, I would shove all my dirty dishes into the oven. Hey, it got them out of sight, and I could still use the countertops and sink. Deep down, I was probably hoping for some kind of miracle: when we would open that oven door after Shabbos, the dishes would be sparkling clean! (It never happened. I learned that an oven will never, ever transform into a dishwasher.) Anyway, as you’ve probably guessed by now, there was many a Sunday when I would turn on the oven to preheat it and – what’s that funny smell? Ah, the aroma of dirty dishes at 375°!

Well, now I’m all grown up and moved into a house with such a fancy shmancy kitchen that I have a nice-sized dishwasher, extra deep sinks and a section of my countertop where I can stack things and still have the workspace I need throughout Shabbos. No need to use the oven for storage. So in the last 4+ years we have lived in this house, I haven’t indulged in the Sunday morning dirty dish cook-off.

Until now.

Last Shabbos I hosted Yaffa, a person I love and to whom I will be forever indebted (‘cuz she introduced me to Hubby). She came to spend the entire Shabbos with us, along with her hubby and five of her (seven) kids. I really wanted to do it up right and make some special things. Maybe I went a bit overboard and maybe I procrastinated a little — okay a lot – so I was working up to the very last minute.

There I was, just minutes before candle-lighting, with a ton of pots and pans and dirty spatulas and mixing spoons. I don’t want to load up my dishwasher, because I’ll need that for all the dirty Shabbos dishes. Panic sets in. I must get those pots out of sight! Then I remember and thank G-d for the OVEN trick. I hurriedly load all the stuff in the oven, close the door, and voila — a clean kitchen! Just how I like it; no mess, no stress.

So went on with my life.

Two days later I have a house full of people: we are shooting new episodes of my cooking show and I am preheating my oven for the first episode.

I start to look for my spatula for the first dish. I cannot find a single spatula (Hello — I have 3!), and I’m missing other key utensils. Then people start sniffing. Uh, Jamie, what’s that funny smell?

Déjà vu! After 4 years, the meaning of that strange odor comes back to me and I race to the oven. Folks, let me tell you that burning plastic has a tang all its own. I found my spatula — split in half and melting onto the cookie sheet and dripping down my sauté pan and onto my oven grates. I cheerfully announced that ruining a half dozen cooking utensils in one fell swoop is a great reason to stock up on the newest stuff.

And that is how I came to be in the market for new spatulas, and plan to buy myself a whole lot of great new gadgets I may never use. Listen, one cannot question the deep workings of fate. I think I was due for a kitchen upgrade anyway.

***Giveaway***

Enter for a chance to win 1 box of each of 5 flavors of Power of Fruit bars.  All you have to do is tell me in the comments what kitchen gadget I should splurge on while shopping for new spatulas. For more info on this product and contest rules click here.

You must be a US resident aged 18 or over.  Contest Ends Wednesday August 10th 2011 at 9 am EST.

THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED – WINNER TO BE ANNOUNCED SHORTLY

When I was growing up, we didn’t make a big deal about Father’s Day. We would have a cake or dinner out, but we generally adhered to Dad’s annual admonition, “please don’t spend my money to get me a gift.” In fact, he was always of the mind to get my mom and sister and me to stop spending money.

This year, I was thinking of buying him a Father’s Day gift I saw in a Jewish catalogue: It’s a money clip that says “GELT.” I know he would like it more if it said “Don’t Spend This Gelt.” Then I thought the wiser and decided he wouldn’t want me to spend my gelt on shtus (nonsense) like that. So I turned the page.

So I’m sticking with the under-$25 picture of my kiddies on a mug gift. (He really does appreciate that. I should know. I give him one every year.) And I’m making a special BBQ in his honor. Uh-hum, correction: Hubby is making the special BBQ because he grills the best steaks, burgers and dogs this side of El Paso. Daddy loves a great piece of meat, just like Hubby. Come to think of it, Hubby also doesn’t love when I spend so much gelt. There’s a pattern here, folks. Anyway, I will supplement the menu with some manly salads and sides for Hubby and Dad and some not-so-manly ones for my sister and me. I know Dad will love it.

I can’t say Dad is ever too surprised when I do something well, because he expects great things from me! The fact is that he gave me the confidence to believe in myself, and the gumption to do anything and everything I ever wanted. For that — and for teaching me how to ride a bike and how to drive a car (“Look where you’re going! Look where you’re going!”) I want to say thank you.

I looked where I was going, Dad — and now, see where I am. I Love You!

So here’s my question of the day for all of you out there (Answer below and you can win a prize): When you look back on your life, for what can you thank your father?

***CONTEST DETAILS*** – Answer Jamie’s question “When you look back on your life, for what can you thank your father?” in the comments below for a chance to win a 4lb case of 100% Grass Fed, 85% lean Grassland Range Ground Beef from Glatt Kosher KOL Foods. Contest Ends Thursday June 23 2011 at 9 am EST. Contest open to East Coast US Residents only. One winner will be chosen at random. Good Luck!!

It was my second Rosh Hashanah as a married woman, and I decided that I actually wanted to cook something. If you know my history as Queen of Take-Out, you understand the magnitude of such a decision. At that stage, I was beginning to fill the cooking void in my soul, and I wanted to try something fancy. I made wontons filled with ground meat and dropped them into my chicken soup. So beyond the traditional matzo ball, I thought happily. And I had a good measure of beginner’s luck too, because it actually worked. everyone oohed and ahhed as though I had produced something truly exotic.

Vegetarian Wonton Soup

Well, as life moved on, my head got filled with so many other things and I forgot all about that little success. This memory just slipped my mind until now. Now that I am more experienced, I realize how many things could have gone wrong.

Chocolate Raspberry Wonton

Anyone who has tried to fill a wonton knows that the trick is keeping it from bursting open. The last thing you want is that filling spilling out. I’ve progressed so much since my newlywed days, and thanks to the new Gefen wontons, that come in both square and round shapes I’ve had about as much fun as a person should experimenting with every technique for keeping that filling in place. Oh the wonder of it all!

Three Cheese Wonton Ravioli

So here’s my most important wonton tip: an egg wash really works best to seal the wontons. When you use the egg wash, don’t completely soak the wonton; just a light brushing will do the trick. Also, press the air out around the filling so there’s no extra space between the filling and wonton. Press very firmly (using a fork also works well). My recipe testers and I used all of these tricks just recently on a new Potato Cheddar Pierogi recipe and not a single one leaked! What simchah!

Potato Cheddar Pierogi

Here are 5 rad wonton recipes I know you will enjoy. Vegetable Wonton Soup is so light and pretty and my 3-Cheese Wonton Ravioli recipe is just the smartest shortcut to “homemade” ravioli. Another cheesy dish – Potato Cheddar Pierogis – is oh so formal and impressive. A cool idea for parties (or anytime!) are Wonton Chips paired with an Edamame Dip. And for a sweet little dessert, try my recipe for Chocolate Raspberry Wontons – absolute heaven!

I confess that up to this point in life I have been making lo mein with thin linguine noodles. Well, no more! I now have Gefen Lo-Mein Noodles and another cool new Gefen product, Japanese style noodles. Getting just the right taste and authentic texture in lo mein just became a whole lot easier. Why use Italian pasta for an Asian dish?

It doesn’t get simpler than this, folks. The Gefen noodles come frozen and there’s no need to defrost. Just throw them into a pot of boiling water for 2 – 3 minutes. They cook up quicker than most traditional pasta, so watch the pot carefully. This is no time to go pay your bills, wash your hair, or get into that long overdue conversation with your significant other. More than a couple minutes in boiling water and these will become mushy; you want perfect al dente noodles. (Whoops, pardon my Italian!)

There are so many great ideas I developed for the Gefen lo mein and Japanese style noodles – aside from the authentic and expected quick & kosher Veg Lo Mein. If chicken is your pleasure, choose from Chilled Chicken Noodle Salad or Pesto Pasta with Chicken. If there’s a beef lover in your family, try the Teriyaki Beef Noodles. If you love salmon, you must try my Spicy Salmon over Sesame Noodles.

And if you’ve got a good case of spring fever and want to go veggie, my Spring Pasta Primavera or Sesame Scallion Lo-Mein Pancakes bring all the goodness of spring vegetables right into your kitchen! This is the season to go Asian!

Picture me and my mom baking brownies together in her cozy kitchen. I am about five years old, with long pigtails, smiling ecstatically as I smear frosting over the brownies, my clothes and my face. Mom is wearing her favorite baking apron – the one with the little pictures of mixing spoons and bowls — and beaming at her little pastry chef. She’s proud to pass on the secret family recipe for perfect brownies to a daughter who will treasure it.

Got that firmly in your mind? Good. It’s the only way you’ll see such a picture because it doesn’t exist and that sweet little scene never happened. That’s because my mother (who is a fantastic mom in just about every way) is kitchen-phobic to the point that she tried to build our house without That Room. She settled for placing it off to the side of the house by the garage so she would never have to walk through it. And she succeeded in passing on her aversion to all things culinary (except take-out food) to Yours Truly. Neither of us was likely to win a Domestic Diva of the Year award.

That was then. So life takes funny turns and I wind up not only learning to cook and bake to feed my family, I turn it into a full time occupation, well you know…

So while I can’t share my mother’s tips for the fluffiest soufflé or the softest brisket, I can share her undying encouragement for anything I decided to take on – basketball, my bachelor’s degree or baking. I am now married just over 7 years and she does not miss a beat when it comes to complimenting my new recipes, or even commenting on the perfect piece of fish or lightest slice of challah. I have to hand it to her. For a mother who never pictured her educated, mega-career oriented, 21st century daughter as a Yiddishe balabusta, it’s a wonder that she’s so enthusiastic about my choices and achievements. But she is – and she is truly proud. She tells everyone I am “the best cook,” and she says it with buoyancy that proclaims that I’ve reached the pinnacle of her aspirations for me.

My mother never gave me any priceless heirloom recipes. But she instilled confidence and gave me unconditional support and love and positive reinforcement at every turn. And that is more valuable than kitchen tips; I can learn those from anyone. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

GIVEAWAY!!!!! In honor of Mother’s Day we have an awesome giveaway for you! But you have to be quick – contest is over in 24 hours!! You can win a gift basket (for yourself or to send to your mom) of delicious gourmet goodies from Kosher Care Packages – including 1 lb. of custom ground French Roast coffee, 6 assorted Exceptional Brownies, over 1 lb. of dried fruits and nuts and 1/2 lb of milk chocolate pansies. This gift basket contains dairy and pareve items which are certified by one of the following: OU, OK, OU-D, Kof K-D. This gift basket is worth $80.00!

In order to enter leave your answer to the following question in the comments – What’s your fondest childhood reminiscence of your mother? Only one entry per person, ONE winner will be picked at random from qualifying comments. Contest is open to US residents only. Contest closes Wednesday May 4th 2011 at 9am. Good Luck!!
***GIVEAWAY EXTENDED 12 HOURS – CONTEST CLOSES Wednesday May 4th 2011 at 9 PM***

I usually tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and this time I did not disappoint. I stayed true to my promise and 99% of what I made for the 8-day kitchen yuntif known as Passover were not actually Pesach recipes. Of course they were K for P, but they didn’t require any major Passoverish ingredient tweaks. These recipes were developed with Pesach in mind and they were featured in the Pesach issue of my new magazine, Joy of Kosher with Jamie Geller. But you can bet they’ll be staples in my year round repertoire ‘cuz they were super easy and got the most oohs and ahhs. Ok, real gourmet chefs don’t keep a tally of how many people flipped over this or that dish, but I really need to know. The winners on my menu get to come back and try for eternal stardom. This year, they are… drum roll, please…

• Salmon Croquettes with Tropical Fruit Salsa
You can make this even easier by skipping the fresh salmon and using good quality canned salmon.

• Zucchini and Red Bell Pepper Saute
Shamelessly simple and super beautiful, it is pleasing to the eye and to the palate. Audience applause told me that the zucchini actually tasted better when prepped this way.

• Pomegranate Braised Brisket
So tender and so sweet, this piece of meat just melts in your mouth, not in your hand!

If you didn’t get a chance to try these on Pesach, try them now and let me know if you will be working these into your everyday life. I really hope so. I love when we all agree on things.

So picture this…

I am married for three years and had yet to make a Pesach Seder. Each year, we had been able to go to a relative or a hotel, where someone else did all the cooking and Passover prep. I was living in a fool’s paradise, but I didn’t know it.

But in year 4, we bought a house and all the usual Seder invitations just faded away. We had no willing relatives who would let us crash at their place: this one had made Aliyah; another will be visiting family in London; another was going on a Passover cruise to – was it Antarctica? Pretty sneaky of them, we thought, but there it was. We had been abandoned; and there was no budget for a mini-vacation in a K for P hotel.

The die was cast: It was our turn to grow up, create Pesach in our own kitchen, and even host a few guests. You can imagine the stress of being home for the Sedarim and cooking for Pesach for the first time in my life. Trying to stay calm, I made lists and lists. Then I made a list of my lists, in case I should lose any of them.

And I thought I was doing pretty well. We “turned over” the kitchen from crumby chometzdik to nice, clean Pesachdik about a week prior to the holiday. I was cooking every day and freezing stuff like a Pesach pro. I left only one special time-consuming task for the day of the Seder: making my great aunt Zahava’s Passover egg noodles.

So I’m sitting there erev Pesach, all relaxed, making the noodles and smiling to myself. Why does everyone make such a big deal about the Seder? This is a cinch!

And then it dawns on me, more like a sudden electrical surge than enlightenment: there’s more to the Seder than just the meal – there’s, well, the Seder! So I’m scampering around the kitchen, searching for a charoses recipe that I tucked away somewhere, and wondering if I even have all the ingredients. Next, I’m pondering how much salt to put in the salt water. Then I boil up my 10,000th potato. Gotta dip the potato, right? Or is it celery? So I grab a bunch of celery and start chopping and then I think, was it both? Is both ok? I’d better have both on hand, just in case. Oh gosh, the zroah! What do you use for a zroah and how do you roast the darn thing? And an egg too – how do you roast an egg without it exploding all over the place?

Well, I wound up getting the charoses recipe and its ingredients, plus some calm words of wisdom from a (highly amused) neighbor, G-d bless her. And by the time I breathlessly sat down to the Seder – more like sliding into home plate – I had everything in place, sort of.

That was several years ago. We’re staying home this year, as we’ve done for the past few years, and we’ll be hosting two guests of honor: my mother and my mother-in-law. If I can handle the convergence of Passover and two mothers, I can handle anything.

I know a lot of people who go to friends or family and manage to avoid making their own Seder for years on end. But maybe this year, your usual invitations evaporated, or you’re soon expecting a new baby, or you have a newborn and she’s your eighth, and you figure it’s easier to stay home than to pack up eight kids and shlep down to the in-laws.

So if you’re making your first Seder, I can do more than sympathize. I remember what my first Pesach was like and I can give you solid help. I would have given anything, even Aunt Zahava’s noodles, for a list like this. It goes in order of Seder use.

Seder Stuff Checklist:

✓ Wine
You’ll need enough wine to provide each adult Seder participant with a minimum of four 3-ounce glassfuls. Ask your rabbi if 3-ounces is sufficient (opinions vary), and then do the math. If you use special cups, measure their volume capacity to see how much they hold, as you’re supposed to fill the cup to the top and drink it all. It could be considerably more than three ounces. How much and what you buy also depends on who is at your table. If you have a number of people who prefer less alcohol – and here, it’s not only female type people, but also males who want to stay awake – you might go for a “kal” or “kalil” variety, which is usually about 4% alcohol. Hardier souls may want the full 12% (and up) wine, but be careful not to have overly sweet stuff, as four cups of that it will hit the stomach pretty hard, not to mention the brain. Then there’s always grape juice. It’s considered preferable to have red wine, not white. (For more details on wine vs grape etc… ask your local rabbi)

✓ Karpas Veggie
Ok – here you have to ascertain (or establish) your family custom. This is where we dip the veggie in salt water, which symbolizes the tears shed in slavery. Some people use boiled potatoes, some use celery or parsley, and there are other customs too. You don’t need much, because each person is only supposed to have a little bit, actually less than a k’zayis – an Israeli olive, which is fairly large as olives go, but it’s still just an olive. (When you’re Jewish, you get used to measuring in olives.)

✓ Salt Water
Any kind of salt will do; and you don’t have to make the water taste like an ocean, just recognizably salty. Taste test before the Seder to avoid nasty experiences.

✓ Matzoh
You’ll need a lot of this, so stock up. The person leading the Seder needs a minimum of three whole matzohs, but some rabbinic opinions involve supplementing the amounts for some of the Seder rituals. Usually, it in involves eating at least half a matzoh for the steps of Motzie Matzoh and Korech. So ask. It’s really important to know how much matzoh you’ll really need when the time comes. Every person at the Seder will eat the specified amount, so you need a few pounds of matzoh on hand.

Here’s a tip: Since the person (or people) with a Seder plate and three matzohs must start with shleimim – unbroken matzohs – it’s a good idea for someone to go through the matzoh boxes before Pesach, separating the shleimim from the broken or questionable matzohs. Put all the perfect ones in one box so you can find them easily when you need them.

✓ Marror/ Bitter Herb Veggie
Use Romaine lettuce, endives, fresh ground horseradish or whatever your family custom mandates. Granted, lettuce and endives are not really bitter, but a custom is a custom, and I won’t argue. The horseradish, on the other hand, is a real trip. It’s hard to calculate how much you’ll need, because these can be used in combination to satisfy the Marror requirement. You’ll need it for the sandwich (Korech) too. For a table of twelve, we use about two heads of Romaine and half of one good size grated horseradish per Seder. But I’m the first to admit that it’s anybody’s guess, and you could get stuck with leftover horseradish.

✓ Charoses
Another dip – this time it’s Marror into a combination of diced apples, cinnamon, nuts, ginger and wine (well at least that’s the popular Ashkenazi version). It’s supposed to look like the mortar used in building, another symbol of slavery. Don’t put the wine in before the Seder, as it is usually added just before the big dip. There are lots of recipes for charoses; you could probably try a new one every year for a few decades. You don’t need very much of the stuff, so one large apple is usually enough, along with proportionate amounts of the other ingredients.

✓ Zroah
You don’t eat this. It’s the broiled meat placed on the Seder plate, purely to symbolize the Korban Pesach, the Paschal Lamb, which was a sharp, in-your-face negation of Egyptian idolatry. Since the destruction of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, we do not do the Paschal Lamb, so this is just a reminder. Some people use a lamb shank bone, others use a chicken neck. One shortcut in the prep is to stick it in the oven to bake or roast with your other foods, then take it out and hold it in a pair of tongs over your stovetop fire for a few minutes to finish it off as broiled.

✓ Egg (Beitzah)
You don’t eat this either. It’s a symbol of the Korban Chagigah, the Festival Offering that used to be brought to the Temple. It, too, just sits on the Seder plate as reminder. Red alert: boil the egg first. Then hold it in tongs over a fire to “broil” or char it. If you try to broil a raw egg, it will explode. Trust me.

For some reason, kids are fascinated by the broiled zroah and beitzah, and they can’t wait to eat them. I’m not sure what’s so appetizing about charred, dry meat and eggs; it’s a kid thing. They can have them at a later Yom Tov meal.

Speaking of eggs, there’s an Ashkenazic custom of eating boiled eggs in salt water at the start of the Seder meal (Shulchan Orech). So if that’s your custom, make sure you have a peeled boiled egg on hand for each Seder participant. You’re allowed to use the salt water from the Seder; just pour a little over the egg before serving.

So I don’t really like hamantashen – but don’t worry, that’s not my confession of the week. My real secret is that …drum roll… I have yet to master making hamantashen. In fact, I have almost given up on it.

I am not sure which came first – my dislike of this particular pastry, or my failure to bake a decent batch. I have been delicately and creatively avoiding the need to make them all these years after my one failed attempt. Yet, if you can believe it, I only tried once. One Purim I tried a recipe from a very reputable cookbook that shall remain nameless. It was not a very good dough, even after two tries, and the taste was worse than the stuff from the bakery, so I just gave up.

But this year, my daughter came home with a soft, sweet, jumbo hamantash that she made with her classmates and teachers in Pre-1A, and I’m thinking – I can do this, I can and I am committed to success! (At least, I’m praying that it won’t turn out too bad.)

My oven mitts are on and I’m coming out swinging! If teacher’s recipe doesn’t yield the perfect homie (that’s Jamie slang for hamantashen – because the darn word is just too hard to spell and too long to say), I’ll go to the many great recipes for homies on this site. (I’m thinking of trying Galiah’s Lemon Meringue Hamantashen – much more suited to my taste buds). It’s time to overcome my fear.

I have a sneaking suspicion there are some special tricks that can help ensure a successful outcome. So, I’m humbly asking for your help. I want to be in the Happy Mommy Baking Hamantashen with Her Children Club. Please share your secrets so I can join.

CONTEST!!! I have a lovely gift basket from Oh Nuts! to give away to one lucky reader. Oh Nuts! makes the most incredible chocolates and candies and have divine hamantaschen too! Gift baskets are not just for Purim – you can enjoy these delectable delights all year round or share the love and send to a friend! How can you be the one to win it? Leave me a comment describing the one KOSHER dish that you are afraid to make and why. Alternatively, leave me a hamantash baking tip to help me make my endeavor successful. [Contest open to US Residents only. Contest closes Wednesday March 23rd at 9 am. Winner will be picked at random from qualifying entries]

As always, many thanks in advance for your help!

Crazy, major, recipe news flash!!

Yesterday we put up FIFTEEN HUNDRED new recipes on our website. That’s 1500 new ideas for you – main dishes, side dishes, desserts and appetizers and everything in between. You name it, we have it.

Have a meander through our recipe section or search for specific topic in the search box.

Purim is coming – just around the corner. Need some ideas?

How about having a Mexican Fiesta Purim Seudah? This article has such awesome ideas for a fun evening. Want to go Persian style? Laura Frankel shares her menu ideas here.

I love home-made candy – learn how to make your own. Need some great ideas for Mishloach Manot and Purim Costumes – read for some great inspiration.

And of course – you need to be getting busy in the kitchen baking hamantaschen. Try one of the following and your mishloach manot will be the yummiest in town.

Cookie Dough Hamantaschen
Yeast Dough Hamantaschen
Ruth Book’s Famous Hamentashen
Honey Cookie Dough Hamantaschen
Super EZ Hamantaschen
Cream Cheese Hamantaschen
Buttery Hamantaschen Dough
Classic Pareve Hamantaschen
Chef Jeff’s White Chocolate and Cherry Hamantaschen

Sometimes it takes me a while to write my confessions. That shouldn’t be surprising, of course. How long would it take you to publicly ‘fess up to devastating moments and inconceivable blunders? So this story is not exactly as fresh as tomorrow’s news – but I must admit it lives in my memory as a perpetual prod for humility.

So I’m in a taxi on my way to FOX 5 for an appearance on a morning show. It’s a cold, rainy morning in December. On a good day with no traffic, it should take about 45 minutes to get to the FOX 5 studios in midtown Manhattan.

But this isn’t a good day, weather-wise or traffic-wise, and the wind reminds me of a tornado in Kansas. I keep expecting to see a witch or Toto fly by. Debris seems to moving at the speed of light; the traffic certainly isn’t.

We’re driving (inching, actually) through Manhattan for two hours and I’m due on air LIVE at 9:52. It’s 9:45 and I am still in the car.

I can’t help thinking about how hard it is to secure a TV appearance for a kosher cookbook author, and how many people I would let down if I don’t make it. For starters, there would be everybody at Kosher.com, my publisher, and my publicist. Most of all, I would be disappointing myself –because I was raised to believe I could do anything, and missing an important chance like this would put a serious dent in my self-image.

We are within a few blocks of the studio and if I stay in this car I will never make it on time. I reason calmly that they could bump me to a later segment in the show, and then realize that the show ends at 10:00 AM. There is no later segment!

Because I was supposed to head straight for the airport after the show (for a tour stop in Chicago) I had brought along a ton of overnight bags. I mean, a girl has to have her makeup; and a few changes of clothes, and two or three pairs of shoes, right? But I just have to get out of this car and run for it, and there is no way I could cover that ground schlepping those bags!

So the driver (an angel sent from Heaven, I think) and I exchange cell phone numbers and I leave everything in the car, and I do mean everything. He says he’ll scoot around until 10:00 and then pick me up to go to the airport.

And I jump out of the car. Bless my husband who sent me off that morning with one of those Mary Poppins umbrellas. I hop out with a 6-foot umbrella in hand to brave the storm and make it to FOX.

Well, I run up one block only to realize I was going west when I should have been going east. So I turn myself around and run down the other way, this time headed due east — only to conclude I was right the first time when I was heading west. Another about-face and I bolt like a mad woman due west, and then my jumbo umbrella flips inside out. So now instead of being 6 feet long, it’s almost 12 feet, and people are looking so I can’t just drop the monster in the middle of the street. I drag it along in full flight. My hair becomes a windblown, sopping mess. As I approach FOX 5, I see the producers waiting for me under the awning. They catch sight of me and burst out laughing.

“Don’t worry,” they shout between cackling, “you have plenty of time.” In TV talk that means I have one minute plus a two-minute commercial break. That’s a full three minutes to make myself presentable. I charge into the ladies’ room to pull myself together. I think my sheitel may have blown backwards during my run, so I plant myself in front of the mirror, fix it firmly in place, and wield my comb like a magic wand.

Then it’s breathe in, breathe out, smile and run on set just as they say, “ACTION!”

Here’s the clip:

(And yes, you cynical New Yorkers, the cab driver did come back with all my stuff and took me to the airport.)

What important event in your life did you almost miss? Leave a comment and let me know.

I have to confess, I have so much to tell you all and so little time to put my thoughts into words. I have been travelling a lot lately and am so behind with my blogging. The funniest (craziest most laughable) thing happened to me on the way to FOX 5 which I hope to share with you next week along with an amazing post packed with tons of recipes for cooking with your kids – including cuisines from around the world.

We are all working around the clock on various site enhancements and we have a great big announcement coming soon. So stay tuned and in the meantime enjoy this round-up of my new favorite winter comfort foods.

• Spicy Hot Cocoa with Kahlua
• Double Grilled Cheese with Seasoned French Fries
• Lite Grilled Cheese with Tomato Chutney and Coleslaw
• Three Cheese Mac and Cheese with Garlic Roasted Tomatoes
• Vegetable Mac and Cheese and Greens with Pesto Vinaigrette
• Peanut Butter and Jelly Crunch with Blueberry Lemonade
• Chicken Pot Pie with Herbed Drop Biscuits
• Crispy Artichoke Hearts
• Deconstructed Apple Pie
• Creamy Noodle Casserole
• Whole Wheat Tuna Casserole with Spinach
• Sweet and Sour Chicken
• Vegetable Lo Mein
• Beef and Green Bean Stir Fry
• Southwestern Steak Salad with Cilantro Lime Dressing
• Southern Fried Chicken with Mashed Potatoes and Gravy
• Creamy Mushroom Risotto with Spinach Walnut Salad
• Mango Frozen Yogurt with Graham Crackers
• Individual Meat Loaves
• Molasses Spice Bundt Cake with Bourbon Pecan Glaze

And watch my new how-to make chicken pot pie video.

Now, I’ve just got to get cookin’ for Shabbos.

In my first cookbook, I confess to a lot of beginner goofs, and in my second I am still not ashamed to admit that I don’t know it all, in fact far from it. The most poignant example of which was the snowman birthday cake I attempted to bake for my husband. Oh , we can laugh now, but at the time it was the Queen of All Disasters. Picture this: Hubby is hopelessly nostalgic for a snowman-shaped birthday cake that his Grandma used to bake for him. He recalls every detail and subtly hints that he would love to relive that experience. As a loving wife –with more guts than brains – I decide to surprise him with this custom cake. But inexperience spells failure, and I’m forced to serve him a monstrous, ill-shaped, under-baked Snowthing, clumsily decorated with potato chips and candy sprinkles. It was my worst nightmare, and his best laugh, in years. You can read about the entire sordid affair, details and all in my new book. And for those of you, who think I make up these adventures, take a gander at this photo. Hubby captured it all in living color, and he never even tasted a bite of the mess. Not that I blame him. It was inedible.

But you know me. I don’t give up. So I tried again the next year and take 2 was — how should I say it? Sad. Not as pathetic as my first attempt because this time I used a real cake pan about a 1/4 of the size of the first cake I tried to “build” for him.

I don’t hide the fact that baking is not my thing. So my snowman was too rich and too heavy and he was even rounder than any decent snowman should be. That’s because I forgot that cake batter rises and, well, it rose like a fat balloon, spilling over the sides of the cake pan. The snowman had sort of a degenerate look. In fact, it looked so sick that, again, Hubby refused a bite.

In his defense, I must tell you that Hubby almost never passes up something I’ve prepared. He bravely digs in, pronounces it terrific, or nobly reassures me that “somebody somewhere will love this.” But this time, he didn’t even want to try the cake, so you get a picture of how unappetizing the whole thing looked. I guess it was so far from his grandmother’s light and fluffy, perfectly round and cutely decorated snowman cake, that even to acknowledge my shameful thug as the same species would have been a disgrace. There was nothing about my renegade to suggest the soft grandmotherly hands icing her masterpiece, lovingly bestowing upon it a nose and mouth made of raisins, not to mention a belt and little buttons.

Now over the years, Grandma has acquired the title Great-Grandma and we’ve dubbed her GG. And GG is a kind soul. She finally took pity on me and gave me her Snowman Cake Pan! It’s about 50 years old, and she handed it to me as though it was the passing of the torch, bestowing blessing and heartfelt prayers that this will bring me mazel and help me get this right. She even threw in her hallowed decorative icing tubes.

And then she whispered something else. She uses Duncan Hines cake mixes, and Duncan Hines icing.

Yes. It’s true. And my mind begins to reconfigure the challenge: if, GG, the matriarchal gourmet genius of this family can use DH, so can I! I can do it!

I clear my mind, straighten my shoulders, set my jaw, and kick the kids out of the kitchen. They are allowed to watch from the doorway, but Mommy is very busy fixing Abba’s birthday surprise. So they watch me from afar, eyes wide, mouths drooling, as I gently place the cake into the oven.

I set the timer, yet I find myself running back and forth to peek every so often. The snowman swells with precision in his antique pan. He is calm, unflustered, reliable. I check and recheck. And finally, the wooden skewer comes out clean.

Dutifully, I follow GG’s instructions and wait for it to cool completely. That’s something I almost never do: who has the patience to let dessert cool completely? But I restrain myself and wait.

The moment has come to ice – and in walks Hubby. He has caught a whiff of the whole affair and this time he wants to supervise. Ok, so it won’t be a surprise. We’re in this together. I proceed to ice, with Hubby hanging right over me, coaching me about theory and techniques. and giving me a Mr. Miyagi type wax-on wax-off kinda shpiel. After he points out yet another uneven area, and reminds me once more that the sides should be done with one fluid smoothing motion, I am about to bring Mr. Snowman down on his head!

But I don’t. We’ve come this far, and it’s looking like a winner. I give the snowman two eyes, a nose, and a mouth. I don’t use raisins, like GG did. This is my cake, for goodness sake, and I’ll use icing if I want to. It just seemed like just the right time to put my foot down.

Hubby accepts the revision. But then, with his insistence, I paint on the snowman’s belt just like GG did, and give him a buckle just like GG did. And then something comes over me. Call it a spurt of creativity. Without warning, I begin to give the snowman a pink icing bowtie and hubby almost faints. As I am drawing, Hubby sees his dreams of the perfect cake come crashing down, but I’m in my stride now. The bowtie comes out perfect. As I finish, he smiles and says, “Oh a bowtie! Kids, Mommy made a bowtie!” He was so proud, he almost called GG.

Thank G-d for Duncan Hines. You won’t hear many cookbook authors say that, but I’m happy to share the accolades. Guess what. The cake was delicious. So after my three tries at this, and 6 days after his birthday, Hubby not only tried the cake, he ate it! Ate it all!

Now he expects one every year.

What’s your worst baking nightmare? Let us know in the comments!