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Kosher Food and Wine Experience – WIN TICKETS!!

 

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How would you like to win a pair of tickets to come to the Kosher Food and Wine Experience on Feb 22 2011 at Chelsea Piers in NYC? This is going to be an awesome event – featuring kosher food from some of the most delicious and famous kosher restaurants, more than 200 kosher wines and the most amazing kosher chefs, including our very own Jamie Geller. Jamie will be there to shmooze with you all and sign books. Kosher.com will be showing off our goods too – it is going to be a major kosher experience!!

These tickets are $100 a pop, but if you want a chance at winning a pair of them, and are prepared to come to NYC on your own dime – here is what you need to do. Remember when Jamie recently told us about her failed snowman cake? What is one of your memorable kitchen disasters? Tell us about it in the comments – and Jamie will pick a winner.

Contest ends January 28th 2011 at 6pm EST. Entrants must be at least 21 years of age.

For those who don’t win or don’t want to enter – you can still save money on those tickets. Yes indeed!! If you buy your tickets online before February 1, 2011 and use our code JAMIE20 you can save 20%! If you buy after January 31 2011 you can save 10% by using the code JAMIE10. You may not win our prize but you can certainly win our discount!!

So, what are you waiting for? Get commenting – I am sure everyone has at least one kitchen disaster the family still talks about!!

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About Hadassah Sabo Milner

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HaDassah Sabo Milner is a Welsh Jew who lives in Monsey NY. She is a writer and a blogger and a lifelong foodie. She's married with four sons who provide her with much fodder for her writing projects. HaDassah is also a social media rockstar who can update multiple platforms simultaneously whilst cooking Shabbat dinner for 70. You can find her on Facebook, Twitter Twittr , and read her blog In The Pink .

 

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51 Responses to Kosher Food and Wine Experience – WIN TICKETS!!

  1. avatar says: Peekababy

    I had a great recipe for Sesame Noodles with Broccoli that I had made a million time before. Each time that I had made it, I had simply skipped the Thai Chili Paste. One Shabbat, when I was coincidentally having my younger brother over for dinner (did I mention he’s super picky and an extremely harsh critic?) I decided to take a chance and use a little bit of the paste for extra flavor. Weeell, even though I used 1/8 tsp instead of the 1/4 tsp the recipe called for, we all had steam coming out of our ears…and I had to wash it off in the sink. Brothers being what they are, mine has never quite let me live this one down!

  2. avatar says: Naomi

    For one Shabbos, I was having a bunch of guests and decided to try out a fancy fish souffle. It entailed very detailed and complicated directions, including making a fish stock to cook it in that had heads and tails and bones of fish. I followed the recipe to the letter (which I normally don’t do as I like to be creative) and it looked gorgeous! Unfortunately, though it was stunning in appearance it lacked ANY flavor and was, to put it bluntly, the worst thing anyone ever had to eat! I was mortified in front of my guests! It was a good thing I had made a bunch of other things to eat! And since it’s more than 20 years after the disaster I can laugh about it now. And after that horrific disaster, I decided that I was NEVER going to follow a recipe to the letter again!

  3. Trying to make Chocolate Banana Peanut butter parve ice cream…I couldn’t find the parve yogurt I needed, so i figured, I’ll add some more banana to substitute the thickness a yogurt brings…either way, when it first came out of the ice cream maker, the consistency looked decent enough, that i was kinda pleased…a few hours later in the freezer, and it was rock solid…so much for dessert that shabbos…oh well

  4. avatar says: ima2seven

    I like to store my meat Shabbos dishes in my oven on Shabbat day, just to keep them out of the way until I can wash them on Motzei Shabbat. One week I included my huge, thick, plastic cutting board in the oven…. only I forgot I hadn’t yet cleaned it when I preheated the oven on Sunday. Melted cutting board everywhere. I had to scrape melted plastic cutting board off of every inch of my oven, since it had dripped down. I even had to use razor blades. The clean-up took several days and two self-clean cycles before I stopped worrying about toxicity in the oven. What a disaster. Before I cleaned it up I did take pictures and have a good laugh: http://www.ima2seven.com/2010/01/mother-of-the-year/

  5. avatar says: HindyB

    A very big number of years ago (I think I was 12) I made a cake erev pesach (not Kosher L’Pesach). My mother gave me a boxed mix to use. For starters, she thought I was using a bowl, and I used a mixer. So that had to get cleaned all over again for Pesach.

    The other problem with the cake (and this is sad) is that the box said butter. So I used butter.

    It was eaten at Sholos Seudos and — here’s the kicker — everyone was still fleishig’s.

    It took a few bites of cake before someone said ‘This is REALLY good. What’s in here?” that I realized what I did.

  6. My most memorable #kitchenfail was a few years ago during our “young, married, poor” period. We were living with my in-laws for a few months after having left a bad job in a different city, so using the kitchen was already a bit of a mine field…

    I wanted to surprise my wife with a birthday cake. I came home early the afternoon of her big day and pulled together what I thought was a delicious chocolate layer cake. 2 layers, a never before tried feat of its own and I made my own frosting – added food coloring and all :)

    Once everyone came home, it was more “nice thought”, because I had made it way way way too sweet and dairy. We were eating meat that night, and the in-laws are all natural kind of folks..

    My wife and I each ate a sliver and had to toss the rest. At least I was able to keep the kitchen clean :)

  7. avatar says: Rachel

    When I was in high school, I had a teen cookbook that I used all of the time. The recipes were simple and delicious. However, once while making coffee cake, I accidentally confused the confectioner’s sugar and the flour. Instead of adding flouring, I added several cups of confectioners sugar, making a sugary-cinnamony soup, that never rose.

  8. avatar says: SerenaC

    A few months ago I decided to try making Ice Cream Cupcakes. They turned out better than I expected, and they looked just like real ice cream. I carried a tray of cupcakes into my dining to photograph, balancing them really carefully because they were top-heavy. On my trip back to the kitchen the cupcakes started to wobble. One at a time the cupcakes went diving off the tray – PLOP – frosting side down, squished into the floor. After working on them for hours, I was so frustrated. Fortunately I still had some extra frosting, so I scraped off the tops and re-frosted the cupcakes. Just as I finished fixing the last one, my mother came into the kitchen and started moving things around on the table where all the cupcakes were sitting. And just like that, they all tipped over again.

  9. avatar says: Lori R.

    Which time was the worst? Was it the time I invited a whole group of people for Shabbat, tripped while carrying the dafina to the table, and it ended up all over the wall? We each had about a tablespoon of rice and some gefilte fish. Or was it the time my husband came home to find me sobbing over a HUGE pot of burned chili? I was trying to be a real “balabuste,” and made a large batch to eat and freeze. Well, I didn’t know you had to keep stirring it… the bottom burned black and the whole mess ended up in the garbage. Better than on the walls, I guess…

    I can’t decorate cakes either, but I don’t think it qualifies as a disaster.

  10. avatar says: Josh

    I can’t take credit for this one, but here’s a funny story from my mother. We were having guests over and my mother planned on making a chocolate cake. She opened up the cookbook, followed the recipe without thinking, and lo and behold out came a lemon meringue pie – the recipe on the opposite page. During the process she apparently didn’t realize that the chocolate cake didn’t have any chocolate, but still…

    Anyway, lousy for a chocolate cake, but a great lemon meringue pie.

  11. avatar says: shoshana

    This one is my mother’s famous story. We all laugh about it still today. My father was a real food connoseur and loved to eat. As with most men, he especially loved his mother’s cooking. So when they were first married, like many newleywed wives, my mother learned all of her mother-in-law’s recipes and would make them for my father. Each time he would try something she made he would tell her how good it tasted but would say, ‘it still doesn’t taste like my mother’s’. My mother said she could never figure out what she was doing wrong – she followed her mother-in-law’s recipes perfectly. Then one day, she got distracted by a crying newborn baby and the food she was cooking burned on the stove. She served it to my father anyways. My father told her, “now it tastes just like my mother’s!”

  12. avatar says: Esti

    There is a very funny story about making chili. I was in college and I was trying to impress my neighbors with my mom’s favorite chili recipe. I even called her on the phone to make sure I had all of the ingredients just right. Eveything was going great and then it was time to add the beans, so I added them. Yes, kidney beans, not soaked, nor cooked, just plan old kidney beans. A few minutes later, I took the pot of chili over to my neighbors, so proud of how I recreated my mom’s recipe. Well, it would have been a great meal but the beans were not cooked. I tried it myself and my face turned as red as the ripe and the kidney beans I had added a few minutes earlier. This cooking mistake has made every chili night since the best. I will never “spill the beans”in the chili unless they are soaked first.

  13. avatar says: Daniel

    I was really excited last year when I got my first crock pot. Now I could easily make stews, and soups, and cholent, and other delicious things that would stay warm forever!

    When it was time to try it out for our first Shabbat lunch I was really excited. So excited that I confidently thought, “I know what I am doing, I don’t need a recipe.” I threw all caution to the wind and plopped in some beans, some squash and potato, and lots of random spices, not really paying attention to what I was doing. I cranked up the dial and let it sit overnight, making delicious crockpoty goodness.

    Well, It became time for Shabbat lunch, and I took off the lid, and dolloped the concoction into bowls. My friends and I were able to stomach 3 or 4 bites, but after that we were overwhelmed by the awful flavor. I guess next time I should pay more attention when I am shaking on the paprika, cumin, and chili powder. Needless to say, we had hummus and pita for lunch that Shabbat, and I am now a much wiser, and more conscientious crock pot user.

  14. avatar says: Tovit

    ok…so, for me…the best is the “boiling potatoes”…
    My husband said that he needed boiling potatoes for part of the dinner he was making…I happily wanted to help out, so I BOILED some potatoes in a big pot.
    He asked what I was doing…I said ” I thought you needed boiling potatoes!!!”
    He chuckled, ok, he ouright hackled at me and said sympathetically between his fits of laughter and informed me ” No sweetie, boiling potatoes is a type of potatoe you bye at the market…just like you would a baking potatoe!!
    WELL!!! To this day…it’s still a sensitive issue to discuss!!!just kidding!
    Happy cooking y’all.

    T

  15. avatar says: Arielle

    So cooking over the years I’ve had plenty of disasters but the worst actually had me ending up in the emergency room. I was 18 and my parents went to a wedding. I invited over two of my good friends and we decided to grill some steaks. At the time we had a charcoal grill and while I had cooked on one before. I’d never lit it. My friend and I filled it with charcoal and then I did what I had seen my dad do a million times I added some newspaper and doused it all with lighter fluid and then added a match. The whole thing blew up in my face, singeing my eyebrows, eyelashes, the hair around my face and giving me second degree burns on my hands.I ended with boxing mitts on my hands while they healed and I’ve never lit a charcoal grill since.

  16. avatar says: drnelk

    Personal worst disaster was trying to make pink-peppercorn encrusted fish. Couldn’t quite get the peppercorns finely ground and so the fish was really heavily coated. Basically, the fish was spicy like five-alarm chili. But it *was* pretty.

    2 favorite disasters:
    1) A friend came to visit me in Houston from out of town during high school, mom put meatballs in oven to pre-cook for dinner. We left to visit NASA, came back at end of day. The meatballs were, uhm, well done. Dad said “Why’d we drive so far when we have moon rocks here?”

    2) Visited friends in NYU married dorm, which called for tons of space-saving solutions. They heated up oven to make Shabbos dinner…. only to remember that the oven was also where they stored an electric heating tray. Take-out Shabbat!

  17. avatar says: Shira

    This is not my own disaster, but rather my mom’s. My parents house was always filled with people on Shabbos and Yom Tov. A normal Pesach seder was around 30 people, sometimes more. My mom makes homemade gefilte fish twice year, and it is something we all lok forward to. First seder night, we served the delicious fish and then amazing rich chicken soup with fluffy kenadil floating around. Huge hit! After cleaning up, my dad thought it would save room in the fridge to put the food away in plastic bags instead of containers. Can you see where this is going? OK, so the second night of Yom Tov is always rushed to warm up food and to start the seder. So my mom runs to the fridge grabs a bag of “round balls” and throws it into the soup. About an hour later there is a weird smell coming form the kitchen. No one can figure out what the smell is. It smells fishy, but my mom thought it was the fish in the oven. So she dismissed it. My mom asks me to take the fish out of the fridge, but I can’t find it. She is getting mad, and says its in a bag, jut look! I replied that the only bag is kneidil, she starts to argue with me that the kneidil is in the soup. Until it hits her! “oh no!!!!” she screamed. She went over to the HUGE ot of soup, and looks in and with one smell, she knoew what was in the soup! Well, in the end it was a faster meal because there was no soup or fish! This was one for the record book and we never let her forget the year she put gefilte fish in the chicken soup!

  18. avatar says: Erica

    Oh – the first time I made challah! I guess the water was too hot and when in went the yeast – I cooked it! My poor braids didn’t rise and we had this little braided bricks. My wonderful husband (patient fiance, at the time), ate it anyway, though he remarked that it tasted like matzah…oy! I hope I can go to the Festival!

  19. avatar says: Jen B

    When I was about 9 or 10 years old, my mom was in a huge rush to cook Thanksgiving dinner and I volunteered to help. She handed me a pumpkin pie recipe, thinking it would be easy for me to follow the directions which I did to a T… can of pumpkin, sugar, spices, eggs, etc. all mixed together and poured into a pre-made crust. I was so proud watching my mother pull this beautiful pie out of the oven and slice it up…when suddenly the knife hit a hard spot. The look on my mom’s face was priceless as she discovered 2 perfectly hard boiled eggs sitting in the pie. The recipe hadn’t specified that “add 2 eggs” meant to crack and beat them first! After my mom stopped laughing, she sliced around the eggs and we served the rest of the pie…it tasted great and no one knew about what we still refer to as my “eggsident”.

  20. avatar says: ira

    We were baking one of our favorites,sour cream coffee cake.When it came out of the oven it looked great but when we moved it it seemed to slosh . Upon examination it appeared that everything was right except we forgot to add the flour.A new dish was born called sour cream coffee soup.The moral is never bake while on the telephone.

  21. avatar says: sima

    Talk about a bride who knew NOTHING!
    I was newly married, not much past our sheva brachos. Wanting to impress my husband, I decided to be ambitious and make challos for Shabbos.(I couldn’t remember ever boiling water before, let alone making challos).
    My husband walked in the kitchen, only to find me in tears. I was desperately trying to knead a dough that was flat, and, needed a crowbar to lift. After a bit of investigation and, to my embarrassment, my husband was the one who discovered I had been working with confectionary sugar instead of flour!

  22. avatar says: Dberg

    I made a 2 lemon tortes and as I was bringing them into my parents’ home, one of the tortes fell onto to the floor and was a lost cause. Thereafter, everyone enjoyed the other lemon torte.

    However, when I tried to remake the recipe, I could not figure it out, it came out as a sticky substance that would fall on the floor that I am still trying to clean up.

  23. avatar says: amy

    I’ve always been a baker since I was little. My wonderful mother used to let us help make the hamantaschen every Purim and other such treats even though we were no doubt more trouble than a help! She cultivated a real love of baking in me and my 2 sisters.
    One Sunday afternoon, my sister and I decided to bake brownies…from scratch. I was about 9 and she 11. We measured out the cocoa powder, flour, eggs, sugar, salt and started vigorously mixing away. We were pretty proud of ourselves as the batter started to look more and more like the brownies our mom would make. My mouth started watering as my sister steadily held the hand blender mixing the mountains of smooth chocolate. I wanted to stick my finger in the bowl to taste the creamy mixture but decided to hold back and use my self-control (not an easy feat for a 9 year old and a bowl of chocolate batter!). As I patiently stood watching my sister mix and mix, some batter splattered onto my hand. This was my lucky day! Anticipating deliciousness, I quickly stuck my finger in my mouth. However, my dreams were short lived. I sprinted to the garbage and spit out the batter. “Rochelle, this is GROSS!” I yelled. She flipped off the mixer and took a taste of her own. Trash incident repeated. Confused, we looked back at the recipe. 1 cup of flour, check, 2 eggs, check. 1/2 cup sugar, check…wait! Salt and sugar are not the same thing? My mom kept them in containers and we didn’t pay any attention nor did we think that it was unusual to add 1/2 cup of salt to a brownie recipe. (I did wonder why Morton salt didn’t provide bigger containers considering how long I had to wait to get 1/2 cup of salt out of the tiny spout). We soon paid another visit to the trash can, though this time with our entire brownie batter in tow. Well, at least we had a sisterly bonding experience!

  24. When I was in college, my rommate copied down some of my mom’s recipes to try. One cake that we especially liked was called Prune Cake. We went to the store with the recipe in hand and set out to buy all the ingredients we would need. When we got to the one listed as “one 4 3/4 oz package of baby prunes” we were stumped! We went to the dried fruit aisle and chose the smallest prunes we could find. Back at our apartment, we cut the small prunes up into smaller pieces and tossed them into the mixing bowl with the rest of the ingredients. Well, when we turned on the mixer, pieces of prunes started jumping out of the bowl! Only then did we realize that although my roommate wrote down “package” my mom’s recipe was for a jar of baby (food) prunes! We drove back to the store at midnight to buy one jar of baby food prunes, wondering if the cashier thought we had a constipated baby at home…

  25. avatar says: jib

    We were married in June, back in ’75, and my wife’s birthday was mid-July. Being all of 3 weeks married, I wanted to surprise her with a homemade birthday cake. No Duncan Hines for us! I kept her out of the kitchen saying I was working on a surprise. With all the noise coming out of there, and her not ever imagining I could do anything with food in a kitchen, she thought I was building her a coffee table (which was what she actually had wanted for her birthday…). The cake came out a little lopsided, but the frosting was disasterous. She found bits of chocolate in tons of places on the walls and ceilings. The worst was that the frosting turned to liquid at room temp. We ate the cake directly out of freezer! She reminds me of my frozen cake experience even after 35 years.

  26. My husband loves lemon flavored desserts. So I decided I would be really fancy one week and make lemon meringue pie. I followed the recipe exactly and it came out beautifully. However, I forgot to put it in the fridge as the recipe instructed and left it out for several hours. As I brought it to the table, amidst the oohing and aahing of our shabbos guests, I couldn’t help but notice the pan felt a little sticky. “No matter” I thought and handed my husband the server. “What’s a little stickiness in the grand scheme of things?” Imagine my horror when my husband cut into the meringue to reveal a hollow crust with the barest vestiges of lemon curd clinging to it. “Where’s the filling?” we all wondered?

    Turns out it was in a giant puddle on my counter. The filling had somehow liquefied on the warm counter and leached out of the pie. Everyone was rolling with laughter, telling my husband and I how we should have seen the confused looks on our faces.

  27. My Aunt Leah’s (a’h) story is cute…she didn’t know how to
    yield a wonderful, dark gravy for a succulent roast…one of her
    first repasts for my uncle Tobias(a’h)…
    so in her infinite wisdom, she decided
    to use coffee…
    mind you..
    it was granulated…not brewed…
    and tasted like pebble like sand…
    And, the roast was a goner…
    inedible…
    but, the story it tells lives on…
    May my aunt and uncle rest in peace
    and may their soul be intertwined in
    the fabric of life…
    Their soul should have an Aliyah
    after revealing this one to you…
    Best, Lydia.

  28. avatar says: Sarah W

    My most memorable kitchen disaster was the morning after my wedding. I purchased all of the ingredients to make pancakes from scratch, since I knew they were my new husband’s favorite. I mixed the ingredients, according to a recipe that I had never tried before. The batter came out so thick, I could barely mix it. The pancakes tasted awful and the texture wasn’t any better. What a way to start off my first morning as a married woman. (Luckily, my cooking has improved since then!)

  29. avatar says: kellclan

    As a new bride I only entertained on Friday nights. My menu was very simple and I always made a favorite, my mother’s carrot “pudding”. As the days became longer (we were married in January) we decided to invite guests for Shabbos lunch instead. Having established a pattern of preparing everything in a certain order, I was surprised at finding a raw carrot pudding in the refrigerator as I went to serve it. What happened? I had always put it into the oven exactly one hour before Shabbat so that it would be hot and fresh when I served it. Not possible on Shabbat morning! Oh well, the guests got a raincheck.

  30. avatar says: sari

    Newly married, I had my in laws over for shabbos. Erev Shabbos I pulled out one of the many pans in the freezer, pretty certain it was the noodle kugel. well, we have soupy ice cream and frozen solid kugel:(

  31. avatar says: jehrlich

    One year, after moving into a new home, I decided to host seder for 16 people and chose a very elaborate seder meal. The night before the first seder, I put the chickens, the briskets, the kugels, etc. into the oven to bake and turned on my electric stove. About 1 hour into the cooking, I checked the food and the oven was cold. My oven wasn’t working and I could not figure out what the problem was. With 16 guests coming and no way to get someone out to repair the stove, I phoned a friend of mine who owned a restaurant a few towns over and asked if I could use his ovens. He agreed, and I loaded up the station wagon with all of the dishes, aluminum foil, my utensils, and dishrags, and drove to the restaurant. I had to line all of the stoves, make sure that no one touched the food (so that it would not become unkosher for passover), and had to sit at the restaurant bar for over 4 hours until everything was cooked. I ended up getting home around 1am exhausted! Fortunately, my oven was fixed before the holiday and everything turned out fine. However, it was an ordeal I hope never to repeat!

  32. avatar says: susan

    i was making my usual cheesecake for shavuos, but was using an older springform pan that I was not too familiar with. just as i opened the oven door and had the cheesecake over the hot oven rack, the entire bottom fell out of the pan and the cheesecake poured all over hot oven. what a mess!!!

  33. avatar says: jacim

    I married into a Sephardic family. My husbands favorite dish is a rice with fava beans & his family were not so forth comming on the ingrediant’s & how to prepare it other then is was chopped onions, garlic & cilantro sauted’ add fava beans cover with water, boil & then add rice. So after some research i found a cookbook with the recipe to have my husband become upset & throw the whole thing including pan away. I was dejected. After some questioning i found out it was red onion that gave it the dark brown color. so again i prepared the dish to have him turn up his nose. Then i found out it was the wrong brand of rice to have it fail. Then to find out that the fava beans were best frozen & again it failed. Each time he would get up & throw it in the trash! I think i tried for a whole year every week, till finally his 86 year old aunt told me to burn the onion, garlic, & cilantro. Can you imagine burn it??? So i did & i tasted it & it tasted terrible but i added the fava beans & the rice & it turned out perfect!!I think we were married a whole year till i finally mastered that dish. Every time i make it i go crazy knowing i’m going to actually burn food to get the the correct product. It’s maddening!! He was so happy & ate the whole pan that first time & he finally said i had become a real sephardic wife!

  34. I tried to suprise my husband with his favorite cookies for Shabbos. I planned to make them quickly on Friday morning while he was at shul so I could continue to get back to the paper I had to write for school. Well with my mind on the paper, I ended up tripling the amount of sugar required. When I realized this, I was ready to toss the mixture, but when my husband came home, he was eager and excited to just triple the recipe. Instead of being done with the cookies early on in the morning, I was putting cookies in and out of the oven for 3 hours… at least we didn’t have to make dessert for months.

  35. avatar says: DevoK

    When I was about 10 years old, my mom started me baking for Shabbat. She handed me the recipe card and pointed me to the KitchenAid and the pantry.

    I mixed up the baking soda and the baking powder. the cake was inedible.

    So my mom calmly tossed it, handed me the recipe card, told me to read more carefully and to do it again.

    So I did. And baking became a regular chore of mine for Shabbat.

  36. I met my wonderful husband shortly after Pesach 2007 and got married on August 22. Living on the east coast, we had decided to spend the entire Succos with my in laws in Chicago. Erev Yom Tov I decided to suprise my inlaws and cook them the most delicious london broil, (since my father in law is a HUGE meat guy.) While everyone was showering for yom tov i snuck into the kitchen with the london broil i had bought earlier that day and starting cooking. After about 15 minutes the smoke alarm started going off!!!! Everyone came running into the kitchen (my mother in law in her bathrobe) only to find me looking sheepishly at a burnt piece of meat. The first thing i cooked for my in laws was ruined! To this day my in law family still makes fun of their “new daughter in law who almost burnt down the house.”

  37. avatar says: Sheva

    I have one word for you Gluten- Free baking, ok so that was more like 3 words, but still the impact was hopefully there. In my most recent pregnancy I developed a gluten intolerance that has continued to plague me. I crave brownies and cookies that melt in your mouth, cakes,oh do I miss cakes. My craving soon took over and i attempted the impossible, gluten-free baking. I searched the web and found recipes with images of moist cakes and divine baked goods , that would make the gluten full consumer drool. All I have to say is this …….Sand, lots and lots of sand. That is what most gluten free baking resembles, beaches full. This Is not a fun make cookies with the kids this is outright science, mixing the butter with just the right amount of sand like flour to get a gluten taste. Well I have not mastered this science and probably never will. I have made cakes that could stand on their own in an armored battle,cookies as flat and thin as paper, brownies that tasted a bit like chocolate sandy slurry. I have given up, and my family thanks me.

  38. avatar says: Sarah S

    You say kitchen disaster, I say kitchen fun!

    My motto: Everything in baking can be solved by ice cream, frosting, or whipped cream.
    Some of my disasters have resulted from what I call “having my mind on more important things,” but what others might call “absentmindedness.” Take, my banana bread (which, by the way, is the best recipe ever … secret ingredient: lemon juice!). While I thought I was taking 1 scoop baking powder and 1 scoop baking soda, I actually took 2 scoops of baking power. Talking on a cell phone while driving is illegal? Maybe talking while baking should be too!
    But the moral of the story is to salvage. I took that collapsed, weirdly brown looking cake, cut off the top layer and scooped the rest out like bread pudding. Add some vanilla ice cream, and YUM!

    Other “disasters” have resulted from the well-known problem: the recipe is wrong. Take the red-velvet cupcakes. I searched and searched for what looked like the best recipe. I finally settled on one, but let’s face it, it was mostly for the cream cheese frosting recipe that came with it. I added the amount of flour that they said despite the fact that I kept telling myself “this is way way too much.” Popped ‘em in the oven, and next thing I know: RED VELVET EXPLOSION!!!! Red velvetness spread between all the cupcakes, and overflowed. But again, after cleaning the oven, and eating the scraps, I did what any kitchen salvager would do. I cut the cupcakes out from amidst the mess, and put loads of cream cheese frosting on top. Sure, they may have tasted a bit flour-y, but not one person complained.

    However, my favorite kitchen disaster, was really a kitchen miracle! Also born out of my absentmindedness, I read the recipe for a frozen dessert wrong.

    What I did:
    Blended a bag of frozen strawberries with a jar of marshmallow fluff. Pour into graham cracker crust. Top with whipped topping. Freeze.

    What it actually said:
    Blend a bag of frozen strawberries with a jar of marshmallow fluff. Whip topping and BLEND INTO STRAWBERRY MIXTURE. Pour into graham cracker crust. Freeze.

    Everyone loved my dessert. And it was so simple that I’ve made it at least once a month since without ever looking at the recipe again. About two years later, I looked at the recipe and noticed my mistake. I decided to try the REAL recipe, and you know what? IT STUNK. It was bland and no one liked it at all.

    Moral of the story — most of the time kitchen disasters can be saved. And sometimes, they’re really just a blessing in disguise!

  39. avatar says: dfischman

    Chocolate mousse cups! 2 lbs of chocolate with an end result of 3 chocolate cups, several popped balloons and a face covered in chocolate. I’m composing myself when suddenly I feel something dripping on my head… I look up and realize that my ceiling is drenched in chocolate!!! Complete disaster.

  40. avatar says: Naomi

    I must preface this story: My father is a caring, loving and honorable man. He is not, in the slightest sense of the word, a cook.

    Like most families, my mom was the cook and my dad was the garbage. Whether the food was delicious or disgusting you could count on dad to lick the plates clean. One day, mom stayed late at work and dad thought it was his chance to shine in the culinary spotlight. I cautiously volunteered to assist by making the more “complicated” foods like chicken and everything else, and assigned dad to the intricate task of making instant mashed potatoes. Add boiling water to potato flakes and mix; how could he possibly mess up?

    Well, dad was busy “cooking” across the kitchen from me, when suddenly and without warning he yelled out “the potatoes aren’t cooking.” I took a look over at him, saw that he was using a spoon instead of a fork and calmly told him to add a little water, switch to a fork and mix well. After several minutes, he was still complaining so I finally made my way over to him. I looked at the bowl he was mixing, looked at the container in front of the bowl, and then looked up at him. My dad wasn’t using potato mix, he was using flour!

    You would think the story ends here, but my dad thought his boiling water and flour concoction was a true work of art. Instead of tossing it in the trash, my dad placed his gourmet “mashed potatoes” beautifully on a dinner plate next to the chicken and mixed vegetables that I had made. He sprinkled on some colorful spices, added a garnish and voila— a true masterpiece.

    Eventually, mom came home and was so happy to find dinner waiting on the table for her. She sat down, took a bit of the potatoes and promptly spit it out and yelled “Bruce! What on earth is this!?” My dad quickly retorted, “What do you think? Mashed potatoes of course!”

  41. Over 40 years ago I decided to make kreplach from scratch for yom tov. I diligently followed the recipe I found in a Jewish publication. Trying to roll out the dough was not possible. Therefore, my young son & I sat across the table from each other and began to pull the dough towards ourselves. This did not work out very well and we could not stop laughing while trying to stretch the dough. Needless to say, we did not have kreplachs for yom tov but instead gained happy memories.

  42. avatar says: stepelma

    It was long long ago. In the previous millenium. About 3/4 into the previous millenium.
    My husband and I were recently married. Believe it or not, one of his favorite desserts (second, of course, to chocolates) was jello.
    How can anyone possibly ruin jello? you ask. Actually, I was doing just fine, making him jello in mini pyrex one-serving bowls. But, alas, I wanted to show off, so I made jello and let it solidify in a tray of small molds. There were molds of fish, of a house, of miscellaneous objects. After supper, I took out the tray of molds and proudly displayed it before my husband. All that was left was to remove the jello from the molds and serve.
    The instructions said something about putting the tray in water.
    I wanted to save time, unmold and serve quickly. So, I placed the tray under running water. Suddenly, the fish came alive and started swimming in the sink, straight donw the drain! They were followed by all the other beautiful jello objects. All gone. Transformed into liquid and disappeared.
    Boo, hoo!
    So, I hosted a tupperware party and got myself some foolproof (I was the fool) jello molds.
    We have lived happily ever after.
    The end.

  43. avatar says: Eric J.

    I grew up eating latkes at Chanukah, and one year my fiance (now wife) and I decided we wanted to try to make Sufganiot. So we got a good recipe, a bottle of oil with a high smoking point, and made the dough. We got a pot of oil up to a nice boil, put the dough in, and then tried to flip the sufganiot over with a spatula. A plastic spatula. Which melted on contact with the oil, leaving us standing there holding a handle over a smoking, stinking mess.

    We’ve learned to make pretty wonderful latkes, but these days we go to Krispy Kreme for our sufganiot.

  44. With nerves to the ceiling and people running to and fro,
    It was erev Pesach and everything was almost set to go,
    For a seder night full of Torah and stories of the past
    There was more prepared food than at Yom Kippur break fast
    In order to impress my wife and in-laws, I decided to bake
    An apple crumble, everyone’s favorite type of cake.
    Recipe after recipe, I searched online
    Until one came up that looked juuuust fine
    “The Best Passover Apple Crumble”, the title read
    “There’s no way I can botch this one” I confidently said
    While gusto and bravado I started to prepare
    With apples, sugar, and cinnamon flying everywhere
    Lastly, 2 and a half cups of matzoh meal, the recipe called for
    But I poured in the whole box, and in went the crumble past the oven door
    Later that night, right before afikomen was served
    I presented the apple crumble, a desset well deserved
    Everyone took a piece, so excited to try the first bite
    A delicious end to a wonderful Pesach night
    “Bluuch!” came the first response, from my father in law
    As my wife grimaced and managed a gulp with a twisted jaw
    Next time, said my mother in law, can we make a deal?
    Not to put in a whole box of matzah meal?

  45. My wife once sent me out to buy a butternut squash. Dreaming of the delicious soup, I happily headed out to the various vegetable stands and carts in our area. None had butternut squash. I finally found one cart, whose owner had dubious English skills, that responded yes he had the squash. He handed me an item that did not look like butternut squash to me. However, never having purchased one before and only having seen it in photos I figured I should trust this man. After all vegetables were his trade. “Are you sure this is butternut squash?” I asked. “Yes, yes. Butternut squash” he replied. So I paid and brought it home to my wife who swore up and down that this item was not a butternut squash. After a few hours on google image we finally figure out it was…a papaya!

  46. avatar says: Harriet

    I need make egg less kugle as my son is allergic. I made it so many times I never thought I have a problem. Except until it was done! I realized I forgot a) to grease the pan and b) forgot egg replacer. I served it but my kids thought it was latkas.

  47. avatar says: SK

    My mother in law finally got all the married children and grandkids under one roof for Shabbos Nachamu in her summer home >>>>>
    Friday afternoon, stomachs growling, everyone kept on eyeing all the pots and pans that were cooking…especially the “CHOLENT”.
    My mother in law “allowed” some sampling when it came to the potato kugel and farfel…But the “CHOLENT” was off limits!
    Shabbos morning, Finally “cholent time”…my mother in law took out the roll of Kishka which was wrapped in waxpaper and buried deep in cholent for many hours..
    To her horror, when she opend the waxpaper…was sitting a nicely smoked roll of GEFILTA FISH!!!!!!!!!
    Not only did we not have Kishka….the cholent was “TREIF” too! Probably tasted terrible……..
    Since that Shabbos, all of us make sure to sample the Cholent every Erev Shabbos!

  48. avatar says: Leslieks

    One of my most memorable kitchen disasters was the time I wanted to do something nice for the College kids who lived on my floor (I was their resident assistant). I got up early on a Sunday to cook eggs and sausage for all of them and the floor above us in our college dorm. Not being used to cooking sausages (having grown up without it) let alone cooking for a crowd of 30, I put them all in the oven and inadvertently started a fire. Nothing says “angry college students” more like a fire alarm going off in their freshman dorm at 8 am on a Sunday…with an actual fire…. started by their very own RA. There were fire engines waking the entire campus as they drove in- and then they evacuated my whole tower building (not just two floors) There were some VERY angry folks scowling at me all week! What a disaster!

  49. I am on the floor laughing! You guys are amazing for sharing all your kitchen nightmares with the world. I don’t want yall to think that I G-d forbid take pleasure in anyone’s embarrassment but it really feels good to know that I am not alone when it comes to kitchen confessions.

    You know how it goes, I want everyone to win. I am so happy that you all took the time to comment. The good news is we will be running a contest EVERY week so if you don’t win the KFWE tickets you will have the opportunity to win something next week. And if you really want to go (and I really hope to see you there) you can use coupon code JAMIE20 for $20 OFF the ticket price – but the code is valid only until Jan 31 – so please run to use it (http://kfwe2011.com/) before it expires.

    Before announcing the winner I’d like to give honorable mentions to the following fabulous foodies:

    SerenaC’s – beautiful ice cream cupcakes that just wouldn’t stop falling
    LoriR’s – fall and dafina wall mishap
    Shoshana’s – mother – who had to burn the food to gain her father’s approval
    Esti’s – raw been chili
    Shira’s – Gefilte Chicken Soup
    Erica’s – Matzah Challah
    Ira’s – Sour Cream Coffee Soup
    Sima’s – Confectioner’s Sugar Challah
    Amy’s – salty brownies
    Jib’s – Coffee table birthday cake
    Jacim’s – Confessions of a Sephardic bride
    Bridewhothoughtshekneweverything – and almost burnt down her in-law’s house
    Sarah S’s – red velvet explosion
    dfischman’s – chocolate rain
    Naomi’s – creative culinary father!
    stepelma’s – live jello fish
    Robert Samstein’s – butternut squash/papaya

    And now for the winner…

    Arielle!

    Mazel Tov! you have just won 2 tickets WORTH $200 to KFWE2011 – the coolest and tastiest kosher food and wine experience in the world.

    While everyone made me laugh Arielle actually was injured during the course of her kitchen disaster – so I think after second degree burns and boxing mitts she should enjoy the night out with a special someone!

    Ariella I hope to see you and EVERYONE ELSE there!

    Shabbat Shalom!

  50. avatar says: bopsie

    The first meal I ever made as a newlywed was (going to be) grilled cheese and tomato soup. The grilled cheese was ok but I was a little shaky pouring the tomato soup concentrate out of the can and completely missed the pot. Forty years later, my husband still loves telling that story.